Lowie's Mundane Life

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Identifying Five Red Flags That Will Save Your Life From Prying Eyes

Society has taught me a lot of things and gave me a lot of lessons: some are easy, some are hard. Some made me swallow a pill and I nearly choked. My younger naive self was so trusting and thought they mean well. Little did I know they were just looking for information to destroy you. They were like thief in the night patiently waiting to rob you of your happiness. They were like snakes in a sheep’s clothing (wrong metaphor but you understand, right?). I saw red flags here and there but I ignored it because I like giving chances to people. The truth is, they were so obvious. They provide clues of their intentions and you know that’s fine, they need something from you and it’s only normal to help others in need.

Here’s the part where you should set boundaries to people that surrounds you.

If they ask you a favor. Most of us have different stages in life; one’s struggling, one’s comfortable; others in the middle. When they ask you a favor and it’ll sound like it will benefit them temporarily but they will ignore you after they got the favor: MAJOR RED FLAG. Listen to your instinct, it knows nothing but the best and it’ll save you from disappointment in the future.
If they treat you like they have the right to know everything about you. Let’s face it, friends or family would be curious to know what’s happening with your life. But a normal -thinking human being will always have reservations for themselves, not because they want to keep it a secret but because there are things in your life not worth sharing or mentioning. If they are pushy and inquisitive: MAJOR RED FLAG.
If they talk nice in-front of you but talk bad about their other friends or colleague. Scenario, your friend hangs out with you and hangs out with other friends. He/She talks as if the person is a major nuisance as if they are an abomination, but are nice to their faces: MAJOR RED FLAG. If you picture someone possessing these qualities, RUN.
When they treat you like a sponge. Ever had that friend or family member that tells you major parts of their lives that aren’t well and you listen intently to them and you give them different choices to straighten their lives and still comes back to you with another problem stating that they screwed up for the Nth time. They are emotional vampires that suck your energy leaving you nothing but mental exhaustion: MAJOR RED FLAG. Save yourself and ignore these people, they’re not good for your mental health.
When they call you “friend” but mock everything you do. There’s a difference between joking around with friends versus mocking a friend. It could be mocking your plans to go somewhere, they say it’s not a good place; your plans to up-skill, they say you’re not that good at it; you tell them you messed up, they ignore you and they tell you their achievements instead. This is another MAJOR RED FLAG. Don’t waste your time on these people.

You’re better off without these people. They aren’t good for you. Find a good support system that will give you empowerment and advises to love and promote yourself to be better. I know it’s difficult but there are people out there. Don’t say you’re better off alone, a person who loves being alone is okay, but a person that has no strong support system from around him is bad. Identify and take note of the difference. Love yourself first.

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Bottled-up Feelings

My struggle as a child was to be outspoken, to be an advocate, to be as confident as the other kids. I used to be an extreme introvert. It’s not what I wanted initially. I wished that I’m like the other kids; able to freely communicate their minds like a wind flowing swiftly from their lips. I was reluctant to say a lot of things with the fear of saying the wrong things. All these thoughts in my head I knew it made sense but I had to bottle it up simply because I was an introvert. As I grow up, the world taught me to be expressive but you also must be smart. Say things that are necessary, they say. Tell adults what they want to hear. Listen to what society dictates me. All these I struggled to do because the child in me wanted something different. I want to be the voice my heart and my mind wants. And as I grow up, I learned to let go of these feelings. And so these were all contained in a bottle, and I’m letting it flow and swim through the tides of the ocean. Until we meet again…

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My First Blog Post

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.
— Oscar Wilde.

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.

7 Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Gatekeep My Enthusiasm For Enhypen Anymore

This is my first time writing a blog about a group, BTS is the ultimate group and they don’t need an introduction anymore so here I am writing about another group that I also love. Their group name, ENHYPEN, stands for seven diverse boys who connect to learn about one another and grow as a group. This is explained as follows: “Like the ‘hyphen’ that connects one word to another. Here are seven reasons why someone might want to listen to Enhypen (Jungwon, Heeseung, Jay, Sunghoon, Jake, Sunoo, and Ni-ki) like I do:

Unique sound: Enhypen has a unique sound that combines elements of EDM, rock, and pop, creating a distinctive style that sets them apart from other K-pop groups. I personally love Shout Out due to its heavy guitar intro but there are many more songs to fall in love with like TFW, Future Perfect, and Polaroid Love.

Individual unique vocals: The members of Enhypen are known for their strong vocal abilities, with each member bringing a unique tone and style to their performances.

Impressive choreography: Enhypen’s dance performances are known for their precision and creativity, with complex choreography that showcases the members’ skills and athleticism. This comes as no surprise considering the amount of time they spent practicing prior to their debut.

Engaging live performances: Enhypen is known for their dynamic and engaging live performances, with each member bringing their own energy and personality to the stage. They recently had their Manifesto World Tour in Manila (my country’s capital) which was also their last stop and it was a blast. It was truly splendid that even OT7 was amazed and wished for a bigger venue the next time they come here.

Visual storytelling: Enhypen’s music videos often tell a story or have a symbolic meaning, adding an extra layer of depth to their artistry. They were unstoppable since the release of Border: Day One in November 30, 2020 with their concept as vampires.

Creative concept: Enhypen’s concept is based on a fictional universe called the “I-Land,” which adds an interesting narrative element to their music and performances. It started with competitions between 23 contenders and ended up with 7 chosen ones which are now collectively called Enhypen.

Strong fan community: Enhypen has a passionate and dedicated fanbase, known as ENGENEs, who support the group through their music, live performances, and other activities. They have a great following through their social media accounts and frequently post, respond to comments, and go on live videos just to stay connected with Engenes.

Ultimately, whether or not someone chooses to listen to Enhypen or any K-pop is a matter of personal preference. However, I personally enjoy the music and the culture that surrounds it. 🙂

3 Ways To Combat Burn-out

Like a burning firewood you share your light to the world with it’s burning blue flame to its crimson embers until eventually you run of out energy and you burn out, your light fades and it’ll be a forceful effort to bring it back. That’s how you normally feel after a long work day, taking care of household chores and the kids or endless school projects. I know, cause I’ve been there. I completely understand how you’re feeling right now. You know you don’t have to keep it to yourself, but if you ever feel the need to rest and recuperate, here are three ways to do that.

Acknowledge how you feel. Oftentimes there’s a great surge of exhaustion that not even a good night’s sleep or an entire day’s worth of rest can be gratifying. When you understand and acknowledge how you feel you essentially become aware of your innermost desire to lay back. Being independent has its perks but having too much of it most of the time gives off the vibe that we don’t need help; that we don’t need anything in life because all our lives we’ve been acting like survivors and scavengers making our way to sunrise. Don’t you remember how you thirst for water and you reach and pour your glass and gulp the liquid not caring if it’s hot or cold? Have you not realized whenever you feel asleep, you yawn and your eyes feel the heaviness of your eyelids? Or when you receive another message from your notifications but you’re not ready to answer it so you just keep it unread in your inbox? Or when someone tries to call your phone number and you pray that they hung up right away? How about when you hear the news left and right, violence and war and famine and suffering? I know it’s too much to handle. Listen to your body when it needs to shut down from the world. Your body knows you and it needs its own recuperation for you to rejuvenate and be alive and joyful again. Do not, I repeat, do not burn yourself out to exhaustion.
Make a reminder to slow yourself down. Never disregard your own body’s need to stop and rest for a while. I know you may feel guilty sometimes but the world won’t stop turning if you don’t slow down. Your boss will not fire you if you disengage from work a little bit. Your loved ones won’t judge you if you take time for yourself from time to time. Your friends won’t forget you if you stop socializing for a short while. So scribble that reminder. Type it in. Post it in front of your monitor. Stick it on your fridge. Do whatever it takes to heal you from burning out. Nurse that wound if you have any. Rest that tired soul if needed be. And when you come back, your fire will shine brightly again.
Re-design anything you can. Part of being burnt-out is the feeling of having no control of your life. It’s the feeling of being helpless just because things don’t go your way. Only to find out that you’re closer to your ambitions than you ever was. If that happens, spread your sight around your house, in your room or at the garden. Re-organize anything: your closet, your room, your living room, your garden…anything. It’ll give you a sense of power and control. Then your mindset will be a go-getter kind of attitude, so you’re ready to strike that match again and let your flame burn with your light to the world. The truth is, you are more powerful than you think you are. Oh I know I’m being redundant when I say what your mind conceives, you can achieve. Your thoughts are a ball of energy, think of amazing ways to make it through the day…or night.

Plot Twist: I wrote this only because I’m feeling tired today. I haven’t slept yet. I wanted coffee but I know I’ll suffer from sleeplessness eventually so, nevermind. Yes, the duality of my thoughts; sometimes I can’t help being like this but it’s a part of me I absolutely accept. I’ll leave caffeine for another weekend. And maybe this time I can follow my own advise religiously and unabashedly. Admit it or not, what we advise others may not be applicable for us. But you know, this exhaustion will pass so don’t be so uptight (talking to you now like we know each other), even the sun and moon take turns to share their light to the whole world, and you are no exception. So go on and rest those eyes, tomorrow it’ll be time to shine and showtime.

7 Reasons Why You Should Prioritize Your Own Mental Health

Most of us have heard or have seen on social media how they market young millionaires or how they bought a house and lot in a short span of time or how they convince people education is not needed to achieve your goals. On the other side of the coin, there are youths who struggle with anxiety because more and more pressure is pressed on them at a young age. Young adults no longer enjoy the gift of bloom because they have to be someone with a title at a given age. Newsflash, not everything you see on social media is glorifying. This is why more and more people succumb to pressure, anxiety, and depression because of these expectations set by society.

Here are seven reasons why you should prioritize your mental health regardless of age:

Feeling depressed is a slow, silent killer. You may not know it but your body responds to stress in a horrible way. Just like a drug that creeps to your system, it’ll pull you down to rock-bottom until you’re no longer able to pull yourself up. The worst part is, depression can lead to mental breakdown and worse, suicide. I know it’s hard, we don’t have the same situation as others, find a great community to talk it out. You’re not alone in this world and there are many people around you willing to help.
Being unproductive is okay. Yes, you feel lazy. Yes, you don’t feel like doing anything. Yes, you are just lying in bed. We understand that it’s just a phase and it’s not a reflection of who you are as a person. Your body wants to rest and that’s totally okay. You have been in a constant struggle with daily matters and it’s alright for you to re-charge and prepare to be productive again. This is vital for you to revive your lost motivation, your forgotten passion, and your mental health.
Displacing your frustration to a loved one is not helping. Being hostile to the first person you see after experiencing a stressful situation is a waste of energy. Try to be silent and manage anger by drinking water or stop what you’re doing and calm yourself down before moving on to what you were supposed to do.
Knowing your boundaries can help you eliminate unwanted emotions. Ever felt bad after saying yes to a person because you don’t want to upset them? Pretty sure we all felt that. There’s a nice way for you to say “no” without offending the person. Be honest with your reason, a good indication of a person who is worth your time is someone who understands that no is no and it’s okay.
Cutting people off who aren’t good for your mental health. We’ve experienced it before, the manipulation, the toxic attitude, the mind-games, etc. Leave anything that is detrimental to your mental health; be it a job, a course you don’t like or a relationship you don’t deserve. Make sure you establish boundaries regardless of what kind of relationship you have with that person. Let them know that you aren’t playing with their narcissistic attitude.
Avoiding stressful situations as an alternative. News all over the world can be seen on television and quite honestly, 90% of news is bad news and may affect your focus. So sell that television, have a social media break, read books and go out for a run.
Seeking help is a must. When it comes to dealing with our own problems, we tend to bottle it all up until we figure out what the solution is. Thing is, we don’t always have the solutions to our concerns. That’s the perfect time to seek someone else’s help: a family member, a trusted friend, a professional.

I’m closing this simple article with a short quote: Life is beautiful, make it worth your while.

What Do You Do When It Rains?

I personally don’t hate the rain but these days it’s been nonstop, it felt like forever before the sunrise. And you know how a sunlight is beneficial to all living things. Not gonna lie, I miss the ray of the sunshine dampening my skin. I miss the brightness it brings right through my windowpane. I long to walk and forest bathe while the ground and soil is dry. I miss it so badly.

While waiting though, I realized I can do a lot of things when it rains. I was able to cook my own food, watched some Psychological movies on Netflix, enjoyed my soft blanket and many more. I feel like I am one with myself.

How about you? What do you do when it rains?

3 Ways To With The New Normal The Introvert Way

Introverts value alone time…and a nice view!

It’s been 10 months since the news of Covid 19 has shattered the entire world, but at this moment, some of us are really trying our best to cope with it. Others have picked up easily while some are still trying hard to figure out what to do. Don’t beat yourself up because not everyone has the same goals, the same experience and the same mindset. If you are to ask me, an Introvert, what needs to be done during these odd times then I might tell you a few ideas but honestly, it doesn’t work that way for all of us. So I decided to share what I’ve been doing to beat Covid and made sure that I still make the best out of this world. Here are some few things you already know for sure, but I don’t know if you can relate or not:

1. Do the things that you love doing at home. Do you love movies? Do you listen to music all the time? Is your passion cooking? Are you a plant mom or dad? Do you like spending quality time with your family at home? If you do one of these, do it more often, share your passion with your loved one, sing along together. You’ll be surprised to discover what other skills your housemates have while spending time with one another. Yes, TIME has been truly valuable for everyone. Make use of your time wisely, but be sure to use it while having a good time with the right people around you. Time has been monumental for every single one of us and doing the things you love could mean you are making the most out of your life.

2. Be out-going. I know this is a little bit tricky because some places are restricted and their boarders aren’t open yet. I meant to say, be out-going and explore your local community. Be sure to follow all rules, especially wearing masks or bringing alcohol to sanitize your hands. Did you find something nice at the corner of your house? Did you get a chance to stride at the nearest children’s park and appreciate the calmness of the surroundings? Did you get to walk or run this morning? Anything that will help you recuperate for the loss of sense of adventure, do it! Business establishments like cafes or restaurants have bene gradually opening, go ahead and enjoy your meal adhering to the new normal protocols. I guess this is the perfect time to say you have to “dance with the tides” and see where it leads you.

3. No matter what the situation is, you are responsible for what you allow inside your head. It’s okay to panic, it’s okay to procrastinate, it’s okay if you don’t know what to do next. As an introvert, we are too imaginative: always thinking ahead. There’s a positive light and a warning sign to that, you just have to know how to read the signs of what is healthy or not. Acknowledge that you’re not perfect, your mental health is equally important as your physical health. Seek help if needed, if you don’t, make sure you get back up and continue reaching your goals. Keep in mind, you are not alone in this world. So I think this is the most crucial part, you have to enjoy life while realizing that the world is not in its best shape right now. Still, be thankful you get to see all these. It’ll means one thing, you’ll survive another blow and this time you’re not starting from scratch, you’ll start with experience.

3 Realizations After Forest Bathing

I had a trip to our nearest park, and I know I’m not supposed to use my phone inside the forest cause that’s what forest-bathing meant: to be one with nature, no gadgets, no distractions. But being the photography lover that I am, I had to capture these beautiful scenery. Who knows, other people will appreciate it. 🙂

So here are my realizations while I was there:

1. Enjoy the beautiful things. Not the expensive things; because not all beautiful things are expensive.

2. Respect mother nature. We are just a tenant in this wonderful world; mother nature is our landlord. We have to treat it with care.

3. Fill your chest with air. Take a deep breath and release. Release that heavy burden you’ve been carrying all week. Know that it will pass; that there’s nothing permanent in this world except change.

Tree branches and twigs are magneficient

Coronanxiety Feels

I believe I’m not the only one.

Burnt ashes to the sands along with the hard stones as support indicating that we had a great night. Fire was burning from these woods now turned ashes. What a wonderful night that was. The blazing heat from the bonfire gave a surging energy to our mental being. It was calming. It was very calm. It was peaceful even. This happened before the government decided to impose a total lockdown in our country.

I never realized it was this serious.

At first I thought my plans for the summer has been completely blown away by this virus. Didn’t understand it at first. So I did some research. I watched videos. I read articles. I followed all updates. Before I knew it, my day wasn’t complete without checking updates about Covid-19 all over the world. I think it consumed me. I thought it will give me knowledge or insight over the knowledge I wanted to see.

It only gave me sleepless nights and anxious thoughts.

Everything suddenly became “dirty-looking” to me. I had to wash my hands multiple times. I disinfected the doorknobs or anything that I frequently touch. In less than a month I became somewhat a germaphobe. I was afraid.

So today, I decided to let go of these unwanted thoughts. I don’t want insomnia every night. I cannot be paranoid and think that I also have symptoms of the virus even if I hadn’t gone out of the house since March 14. I’ve been feeding myself thru online delivery and online grocery shopping. I prepare homecooked meals now. I am living like a hermit in this modern world. Never been so scared for myself or for my family’s safety.

And yet there’s HOPE.

There’s hope that everything will be alright. That our Earth needed healing and all will be well again. Even though I know deep down, things will never be the same again.

Finding Happiness In A Haystack

Give me some happy pill.

I’m happy when my hormones are happy. And it’s really complicated as that. At 5, I am happy to see my Mom smile, to see my Dad laugh and to see my siblings play around the backyard. At 10, I’m happy I got good grades; Mom will be very proud. At 12, I’m happy to be with my friends eating at the school canteen. At 15, I’m happy to find out I have the chance to pursue college. At 19, I’m happy to know I’m graduating. At 23, I’m happy to have found a job. At 25, I wish my life was better. At 27, where are all these anxiousness coming from? At 30, where can I find happiness?

A millennial’s definition of happiness.

I received my first paycheck. I got promoted. My family loves me. I have few but good friends. I have food on the table. I earned some, I lost some. I go to the beach or hike up the mountains. Life is great, I take advise from random posts on Facebook and they dictate what happiness really means: travel, save money, eat voraciously, be with the person you love, enjoy quality time with family. You name it they have it.

Then anxiety happened to me.

I want more. I ache to do more. I like to go to some places more. More means happiness. More means endless possibilities. More means I can conquer the world. I was wrong. Because more means you’re discontented. More means eyeing for things I don’t need. More means I am getting old to do more. More means I’m not enjoying life enough, according to what I read. More means I define my life based from what I see on social media and it’s vast and it’s endless posts of wanting more is totally uncontrollable that I don’t know what can give me happiness anymore. Then I think about things that hasn’t happened yet. I think of the worse. I think negatively and it feels like I’m high on illegal drugs and yet I haven’t even had one. Topsy-turvy. It’s difficult to be anxious. It’s difficult to be happy in the middle of a long line of social media do’s and don’ts based from someone else’s standard.

Then I learned to slow down.

I was reminded to slow down. I saw a reflection that shed light to my endless questions and my darkened thoughts of pure bliss and anxiety. I slowed down. I took a step back. I reminisced. I reflected. From my head above the clouds I learned to bring it to the ground. I looked back when I was younger and remembered what happiness means. To appreciate the little things. To maximize your own potential to do better. To not compete with someone else but to compete with myself. Am I happy? So I choose to battle anxiety. I choose to not meet the standards of society. I choose ME… Yes, I choose to be happy.

It’s Not About The Money

Happiness vs Money

Some people say money can buy happiness. It can make you happy by buying a car, purchasing the latest smart phone or buying your dream house. Some would buy designers’ clothing; go to expensive restaurants or reward themselves on a good vacation. Honestly, that’s an amazing feeling, to be able to buy what you want. You worked hard for it. You sacrificed your energy and time to make ends meet.

Time vs Family

My sister got the latest Macbook laptop. My brother has the latest smart phone. My Dad got his dream car. My mom works 2 jobs. And I, I live miles and miles away from my family just to make ends meet. If you were to ask me, if I sacrificed my time just to have a small amount of money on my bank account, yes I did. I didn’t just sacrifice my time, I exerted effort using my energy helping a corporate company make more millions. The company made money out of its employees. And the employees, with the small salary they’re getting, they thought they were earning enough, not knowing that the company is making more and more money from the time and energy they received from these people. Was it worth it? For employees who lived with their families nearby, maybe. For me, and the rest of the other people I represent, no it isn’t. We live faraway from our families and money cannot buy back the time you were supposed to spend with your family. SO what I’m trying to say is, while we enjoy the fruits of our labor, we must double the time we spend to our family.

Glory vs Humanity

How many people would kill for glory? Being an observer myself, a lot of people will identify glory as receiving as many trophies, medals and badge of honours as their greatest achievement. Good for them because they earned and deserved it. But let me ask you, how many of these people have taken their time to serve humanity using their so-called talents and intelligence? I can’t name a lot, but I know a very few people. Some would post it on social media to inspire, some would do it privately just because. That’s just a portion of the billions of people around the world though and not many of us will prioritize serving the humanity because we believe that we are more glorified with the tangible awards we’re getting from the eyes of the society. I sometimes think it’s a joke, being able to witness people trying to bring down other people all for the sake of glory. It’s a dog-eat-dog-world indeed, to some. Sadly, not all of us are very sincere when it comes to helping others.

Money Isn’t Everything

I speak to my fellow INFJs on your behalf, to be able to spread words and promote kindness, understanding and love for their families and to the many people around the world who needs it; to the ones who cling to it like it’s the most valuable gift they can ever receive; to pass on this message to other people. That even though we are sometimes failing as an individual, at least we’re trying. At least we’re trying. And it’s never too late to pass on the love you received. Pay it forward. Give it to others who need it. It’s the least we can do when money is the only thing most of us value most.